Guilt - unconscious guilt eats at our self esteem. And then when anyone says anything that triggers this it's easy to overreact to them, because although we deny their words, we believe them internally.
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We crave certainty, we feel out of control when we don't have explanations for everything. Without realizing it, we'll make things up, we'll forget that we did, and then believe them completely. We'll tell others this is the 'truth' - this is 'the way' to live, this is the 'truth' about another person, when it's really just our invention.
Life changes when we learn to be open, to stay curious, to let go of that gripping need for certainty, instead to wonder and to see possibility.
"Let me keep my distance, always, from those who think they have the answers. Let me keep company always with those who say "Look!" and laugh in astonishment, and bow their heads."
~ Mary Oliver
Embracing uncertainty – no growth without it.
Deep listening – listening to understand instead of listening to respond implies that you must be comfortable with the gap – with the uncertainty of what you’ll say next or what you’ll do next, or what’s expected of you. Its learning to be not do. The burning need for certainty blocks the opportunity for growth – it blocks openness to possibility – it shuts down the unknown – shuts down the opportunity for discovery – of self – of the world. It is the opposite of curiosity – and so it blocks wonder and joy.
“The capacity to be puzzled is the premise of all creation, be it in art or in science.” - Erich Fromm